The Snake's Nightmare
by WraithReaper
Summary: Orochimaru comes face to face with his worst nightmare. Pure crack.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: **I only own Shiro *cuddles a black mongoose* and you can't have him! Only Itachi can borrow him.

**A/N**: Pure random insanity on my part.

xXxXx

Orochimaru was happy, lounging on his throne in Oto. The Third was dead and he had managed to cause chaos and havoc in Konoha, but most of all, he had Uchiha Sasuke as a future body.

Yes, he was a very happy snake indeed.

Nothing could spoil his happiness.

Nothing at all.

_*Chirp*_

Orochimaru sat up in surprise, "What was that?"

"What was what?" Kabuto asked from beside the throne.

_*Chirp*_

"That!" exclaimed the Snake Sannin.

Kabuto pushed his glasses back up his nose, looking as his master as he said, "I am still unsure as to what you are referring to Lord Orochimaru."

_*Chirp*_

"That, the chirping noise!" Orochimaru said, glancing around.

The Medic-Nin blinked in surprise, _Chirping noise? What on earth? _He thought before saying, "I cannot hear anything my Lord. Are you sure you're not hearing things?"

_*Chirp*_

"There it was again!" Orochimaru cried, his eyes now franticly searching for the origin if the noise. "You're saying you can't hear it! I-I can hear it plain as day!"

Kabuto was becoming concerned, "I think you need to lie down my Lord, with all the excitement you must have overexerted yourself and have now started to hallucinate." He said soothingly.

_*Chirp*_

"R-Really?" The Rouge Sannin was almost desperate to believe his servant, "It's just a hallucination?"

"Yes, now come, to bed we go." Kabuto replied, guiding his master toward his sleeping chamber.

_*Chirp*_

Orochimaru shuddered when he heard the dreaded sound once more.

"It's all right. It's not real." Kabuto continued calmly as he helped Orochimaru into his bed. "Now, just close your eyes and sleep and it will all go away."

_*Chirp*_

Kabuto pried his arm free from the death grip Orochimaru had it in then patted the Snake Sannin on the head softly, "Sleep."

Orochimaru snuggled down into his blankets and closed his eyes. Kabuto quietly left, satisfied.

He waited with his eyes closed.

There was nothing but silence.

Slowly he started to relax and drift off to sleep.

He felt a soft weight move up his body to his chest, but, in his drowsy state, passed it of as one of his beloved snakes.

_*Chirp*_

Orochimaru's eyes snapped open and stared in mute shock at what was sitting on his chest.

He started to shake in fear as his eyes remained glued to the small, black, furry nightmare. He could _see_ its sharp teeth, ready to tear him to pieces.

It stared back with its small reddish eyes. Then it tilted its head and … "Chirp."

**xXxXx**

The scream of absolute terror that ripped through the still night brought a smile to the lips of a certain S-Ranked Akatsuki member. His shark-like partner backed away muttering something about 'The impending Apocalypse'.

A small black creature ran up the Missing-Nin's cloak and settled on his shoulder, "Well done, Shiro." He said stroking its head.

"I still don't understand all of this Itachi-San." The shark-like Akatsuki member wined, "Why did you have to go and steal Wraith-Chan's pet ferret?"

"Shiro is not a ferret, Kisame. He is a mongoose and a snake's worst nightmare." Itachi explained calmly, "Also, I didn't steal him. Wraith let me borrow him, to quote 'torment the Pedo-Snake.'"

"So, you're all done now?" Kisame wondered.

"Oh, no. Not by a long shot." Itachi said with an evil smirk, "No one puts a curse-hicky on _my_ baby brother and gets away with it. No one!"

The mongoose, Shiro chirped in agreement, having greatly enjoyed tormenting the Snake Sannin so far.

**xXxXx**

**A/N:** … Yeah.


	2. ATTENTION

Greetings to the fine folk that moderate our site.

Myself, along with many, have been writing and posting on your fine site for years now, some of the better examples of up and coming writers out there are now suddenly finding some of the stories we've come to love at risk of being removed without the chance to even rectify our errors.

For some, that means the permanent loss of a story. While I don't have anything that I believe violates your terms of use, there are those out there that are never able to recover a story in its original form, this is something I find to be almost worthy of a legal action, as while we cannot claim ownership of a character, the stories are OURS and simply destroying them is something that is inexcusable.

It's quite easy to simply add an MA rating, additional filters or even a simple requirement for a free membership to read the stories presented here, and would cut down on hateful anonymous reviews and posts at the same time, so I have to question as to why such a thing, in all this time, simply wasn't added.

If you're worried about falsification of a registration then have an appropriate disclaimer and then there can be no dispute, you took your steps and the PARENTS didn't monitor their children, if that is even your concern. If it is more of a personal view or desire then please at least let people know and give them a chance to remove a story that you and yours find offensive, most people on the site are actually rather cordial when it comes to such requests.

While I cannot say for sure if this letter will even reach those that may be willing to listen, of if it's more akin to a wide spectrum purge in preparation for something bigger, please understand that you are going to be looseing a LARGE number of your writers, and thus your income from a lack of readers if there is not some level of action taken to help with this situation.

For those that may agree with this, please feel free to sign on and send this to the support server, maybe we can get some movement on this.

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If you could do what some other authors have done and post this petition as a temporary new chapter on some of your stories to help spread the word? It would help a lot it's how I found out about this.


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